


eddie kaspbrak’s guidelines for fake dating

by doingallright



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: BUT YOU HAVE TO EARN IT, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier - Freeform, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, IT 2017 - Freeform, Losers club - Freeform, M/M, Reddie, Stephen King - Freeform, slowburn, they’ve never talked, until today
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 17:46:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18393290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doingallright/pseuds/doingallright
Summary: “aren’t you happy, eds? this is what you wanted.”richie tozier and eddie kaspbrak never crossed paths in the many years of going to school together.though they were aware of each other, it wasn’t until richie needed to prove to his parents his bisexuality wasn’t just some sort of phase, and eddie needed to grab the attention of his crush bill; richies long time best friend, that fate would bring the two boys together.





	1. richie can’t act like a dumbass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richie and eddie actually hold a conversation for the first time since that one embarrassing moment in middle school

"shit!"

           eddie kaspbraks voice echoed through the now vacant house. his alarm clock flashed '12:00' over and over, and eddie knew he was in deep shit. he scurried out of bed, running to the bathroom and trying to multitask absolutely fucking everything— his toothbrush slipping out of his mouth while desperately trying to fit his legs in his khakis, shortly thereafter he managed to use his left hand for fixing his hair and his right to button his polo. but he was too in a hurry to be proud of himself.  
           after grabbing a granola bar from the counter and bolting out of the house, eddie rode like the wind on his bike, glancing down at his wristwatch, letting out a sigh of relief as he was only about 30 minutes late; it could have been worse. eddie did everything in his ability to make sure his record was squeaky clean; he would never miss a day, of course only occasionally when his mother was convinced he was too ill to leave the house, and nothing would be able to change that woman's mind. being late was never an exception though. he had never been late, not in years, and so, when young eddie kaspbrak entered the big school building to be met with vacant and quiet halls, it was all very new to him. one thing that wasn't new to him however, was the familiar figure he saw down the hall.

"shouldn't you be in class?"

—

richie tozier woke up to the sound of his alarm blaring in his ears per usual. any quieter, and he would have slept right through it. reluctantly trudging out of bed, he threw on a t shirt and jeans, wearing a flannel on top just so he wouldn't look like he was really too tired to care about his appearance, but the disheveled curls atop his head said it all. that was okay though, because he was richie tozier, and all he needed was his charm, charisma, and his thick rimmed glasses to see through to survive the day.  
          getting to drive to school and back home was probably richies favorite time of day. although he was a very smart student, richie absolutely despised going to school, constantly trying to find ways to cut class. today, richie didn't really care much. he arrived about half an hour late, picking up breakfast on the way to school because if he had to make himself eggs at home one more goddamn time he would lose his mind. he ventured the lonely halls, coffee cup in hand, unsure of where he was going or what he felt like doing today. that was until a voice from behind him startled him half to death, but felt relieved when he realized it was just one of his peers.

"shouldn't you be in class?"

eddie questioned the lanky figure from a couple feet down the hall. richie turned around to find the source of the voice when he saw it was just little old eddie kaspbrak. richie held his laugh back behind a smile, as the smaller boy looked like a fish out of water. he found him to be an interesting character; eddie seemed to never let loose. constantly working to do the right thing and get on every teachers good side. hell, eddie was probably just as perfect as jesus was when he was on the earth. eddie, on the other hand, found richie to be a bad influence, and always wondered why he was always off doing things he wasn't supposed to.

until today, the two had never held a conversation. except for that one time in eighth grade three years ago when they were assigned to be partners for a science project, and richie fell on their baking soda volcano before they even made it to the science fair. needless to say, they both failed, and since then eddie has concluded richie tozier wasn't exactly the best person to be around.

"shouldn't you be in class?" richie retorted, taking a sip from his coffee cup.

“the power at my house went out overnight, it screwed up my alarm. what’s your excuse? you know, being late to class all the time is definitely gonna show up on your record. and when you apply for college-“ 

richie laughed, interrupting eddie, “aren’t you making yourself even later by staying here and chit chatting with me?”

eddie looked at the taller boy irritatedly, rolling his eyes. he groaned, “you know what, you’re right. i don’t have time for this. you know, some people would kill to have an education, and here you are throwing it down the drain.” eddie rambled on as he pushed past richie, bumping into his shoulder. 

richie simply grinned as the shorter boy pushed past him, finding eddie quite amusing. he thought for a moment as he watched eddie walk down the hall quickly, his head up high, perfect posture, perfect everything, blah blah. the kid was a fucking saint. 

“wait,” richie called out, eddie already a good distance down the hall. 

“skip with me.”

neither boy knew that this would be the beginning of a very long chain of events.


	2. personal space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richie and eddie get rebellious on the playground. and the scheming begins .

“are you out of your damn mind?”

eddie looked at richie with wide eyes, thinking for sure he didn’t just hear those words come out of his mouth.   
“as if i’d actually skip with you. do you know how far behind i’d get from missing just one day? it may just be one day, but they add up, richie. plus, i don’t like you. not to mention my mother would kill me if she ever found out.” eddie rambled, gesticulating with his hands wildly. richie giggled at the insult,   
“then we’ll just make sure she never finds out,” he responded, rather calmly in contrast to the other boy.   
“eddie, you gotta learn to relax a little dude,” he continued, a grin tugging at his lips as he watched eddie lose his marbles at his words.   
“just skip with me, one hour only i swear, and if you’re not having a good time i’ll bring you right back. but trust me, anytime with me is a good time.” richie explained, rather proud of himself.   
eddie rolled his eyes, shaking his head as his gaze shifted to the floor. the idea of skipping did sound appealing, if he was being honest with himself, but deep down he still felt the guilt of purposely missing and the anxious feeling he had at thought of getting caught. and he would be with richie, of all people. still conflicted, he tried to get the words out.  
“i can’t richie. i hardly know you in the slightest anyways. how do i know you’re not gonna kidnap me or something?”  
richie fake gasped, acting offended, “oh you wound me, eddie. as if we haven’t been classmates since forever! you may be cute, but not ‘definitely worth being kidnapped’ cute.” he responded, making air quotations with his fingers. eddies cheeks went red at the sudden comment, growing frustrated. “come on, a little rebellion never hurt no one no how!” richie added, giving his best southern accent.   
“god, you’re insufferable.” eddie gave in after a moment, walking toward the taller boy. “if i don’t have the most goddamn fun i’ve ever had while we’re rebelling i want a full refund on my time, got it?” he demanded with his finger pointed at richie, who was smiling widely, feeling accomplished as eddie approached him. he gestured for him to follow behind out of the building.  
“see, i knew you’d cave in, eds! im irresistible. we’re gonna have a grand old time together.” eddie grimaced at the nickname. 

“ew, don’t call me that.” 

—

eventually the two boys crossed the large field to get to richie’s car in the parking lot. eddie stared at the old car for a moment before reluctantly getting in the passenger seat at the sound of richie clicking his keys, the realization of what he was doing began to sink in. richie jumped in and started the car.

“alright, where are we off to your majesty?” richie beamed.

“i don’t know, surprise me.”

with that, richie drove like a maniac about five minutes away from the school to the neighborhood nearby, blaring fallen angel by poison on the speakers. much to eddies relief, richie finally slowed to a stop at a playground in the middle of the neighborhood, meaning he no longer had to hear richie’s intolerable singing.   
“ah, here we are, eds. only the finest form of rebellion!” richie exaggerated, gesturing him to follow. eddie simply watched as he left the car. he took a deep breath and got out, following richie, who was skipping like an overgrown child to the swings. 

“come on eds, i’m not getting any younger over here!”

eddie trudged to the swing next to richie, who was already in the air. 

“is this a regular thing for you?” eddie asked, taking a seat on the swing. 

“sure is. at night and during school, this is my own personal kingdom. i haven’t brought anybody here before, so consider yourself lucky, kaspbrak.” 

eddie cracked a laugh at this, it was the first time he had smiled all morning. 

“you know richie, for someone who’s graduating next year you act a lot like my little cousin.”

richie simply smiled as he flew past the other boy. an amused eddie sat and watched richie fly in the air and back down again, until he began to dig his feet in the wood chips on the ground, slowing down. 

“gotta say eds, for knowing you so long i hardly know anything about you. other than the fact you’re a goodie goodie.”

eddie rolled his eyes, ignoring the nickname, “i’m not a goodie goodie, i just care about my grades.”

“that totally sounds like something a goodie goodie would say.”

“whatever, id rather be labeled a goodie goodie then have failing grades.”

the smaller boy replied as he shook his head and looked away to the scenery in front of him. silence fell over the boys as the wind blew through both of their unruly curls.

“so what have you been up to then, huh? besides school, tell me everything, forget about school for a minute. like uh, what’s your favorite song right now? oh! you got any siblings? 

eddie looked up at richie, opening his mouth to speak until he was interrupted by richie’s incessant rambling.

“is there a lucky lady in your life?” richie asked jokingly, raising his eyebrows. 

eddie just looked at him, furrowing his brows. 

“lucky guy?” 

eddies expression softened as he looked at richie, looking back to the ground as he felt his cheeks going pink. 

“this was a bad idea,”

“hey,” richie said reassuringly, turning in the swing to face his direction. 

“you know, for the record, i swing that way too if it makes you feel better. my best buddy bill does too,” 

eddie did in fact, catch his drift. and yes, of course he knew about bill, he only thought about him everyday. his heart skipped a beat at the mention of the boy as the image of him appeared in his head.” he met richies gaze again, seeing a warm smile on his face. 

“we’re not dating or anything like that though, gross.” richie cleared up rather quickly, killing the mood. “could you imagine me dating bill? i’d be too much for him to handle.” he laughed at the thought. 

“how did your parents take it?”

“whew,” richie let out a dry laugh, crossing his legs and cracking his knuckles. 

“they kinda just... blew me off. they think it’s just a weird phase or something. they didn’t believe me.” 

the lanky boys mood shifted rather quickly. eddie wasn’t used to not seeing him act like he was on five cups of caffeine all the time. 

“i don’t get it you know? like, what do they expect? i think the only way they’ll believe me is if i make out with a guy in their bed or something.” he shook his head, reflecting upon the conversation he had with his parents. “they’ll come around someday.”

eddie understood the feeling, as his mother was extremely homophobic and there was no way in hell he was coming out to her anytime soon. he felt remorse for the other boy. 

“maybe you should then, bring a boy home and shove it in their face.” he replied, swinging his legs off of the swing. “it shouldn’t have to be that way, but if it’s the only way it will work i say do it. i’m sure you’ll get lucky one day and find a guy who will be able to endure your constant babbling.” eddie teased him, beginning to lighten up. 

richie giggled “oh please, i have guys and girls lining up the block just to get a chance with me. if anyone’s gonna be lucky, it’ll be the guy im with, one hundred percent.”

whether or not richie was actually this conceited was not on eddies mind as he laughed and rolled his eyes at how stupid he sounded. “i’ll definitely be praying for whoever that guy is.” eddie added on. 

they sat back in silence once again, richie taking off into the air again on his swing, while eddie was in deep thought. thinking about everything, including the conversation he had with richie just moments before. he thought about bill— god, that bill denbrough was really something. maybe now that he and richie were talking he could use this as an opportunity to finally get bill to notice him. he had to stand out to him as much as possible. how in the world was he going to do that? how could bill finally realize eddie was his soulmate and was right in front of him all along?

“eddie spaghetti,” richie hummed out, standing in front of eddie as he snapped his fingers in front of his face. coming back to reality, eddie looked up at him. 

“i said are you ready to go?”

eddie put richie on hold for a moment as he continued to scheme in his head; he needed to make bill jealous in some way. 

eddie looked back up at richie, still thinking for a moment. 

“richie, what if you and i pretended to date?”

the taller boy snorted, covering his mouth immediately. “did i hear that correctly? you want us to what now? eddie, i’m flattered, truly, if you just have feelings for me you-“

“shut up, i’m serious, think about it. you and i pretend to hit it off, i can go with you to your house and meet your parents as your boyfriend, and you can help me make bill jealous so he finally at least acknowledges that i exist. what do you think?”

richie furrowed his brows as he thought, his hand on his chin. 

“hold on,” he let out a laugh, “you mean to tell me you got the hots for my best friend? since when? that’s kinda cute,” 

eddie rolled his eyes, “we can discuss that later, im asking what you think about it. do you wanna do it or not?”

richie grinned, laughing dryly, “well, i must say i didn’t expect such a conniving scheme from a little guy like you. maybe you’re onto something.”

richie paced around closeby for a moment until coming to a stop. 

“are you positive you wanna do this?”

“well,” eddie thought about the outrageous idea before nodding. “i mean, it cant be so bad right? we’re just acting out a relationship. no feelings or anything like that. right? how hard could it be?”

richie grinned and shook his head, as he thought about how ridiculous and crazy this idea was, but also at the fact that he was agreeing to this crazy idea and that it was so crazy it might actually just work. “hm, i like the way you think, eds.” regaining his composure, he cleared his throat. 

“alright mister k, you’ve got yourself a deal,” he agreed, holding out his hand. “and i promise you on my mother that i will be the best, most convincing, fake boyfriend you’ll ever have.”

eddie took his hand and shook it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayuh thank you for reading ! as promised this chapter was much longer, and things will CONTINUE to get saucier next chapter. feedback is always appreciated

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for making it this far, first chapter was boring i know but trust me things should get going next chapter for sure, and will be longer too, just wanted to give some backstory on eddie and richie here.


End file.
